Saluting Older Moms... Tell Me Your Story...

Are you an over 35, expectant mom?  Was your child born while you were in your late 30s, or early 40s?  In support of my short film, Curdled (a hilarious look at expectant moms in their 40s), I want to hear from you.  POST A COMMENT and tell the joys and pains of your pregnancy and new mom experience.  I can't wait to hear from you.

Onward and upward...

Shame on you, Dr. Oz!

So, recently I was scrolling through my DVR viewing options and came across a re-airing of the "When are you too old to have a baby?" episode of the Dr. Oz Show.  My DVR is set to record the series, so, needless to say, I'm already a fan.  On the show, Dr. Oz shares a wealth of (sometimes life-saving) information about nearly every aspect of the female body and its inner workings.  Even further, I love the doctor's cool bedside manner and open, honest admission to the faults of his profession. 

All of that said, I was quite surprised that in this particular episode, there seemed an imbalance of information, with a great emphasis on inspring fear in women over 35 regarding the impossibilities of conception. 

Having given birth to three children, with our last little surprise arriving in my 39th year, I have admittedly taken for granted the gift that not all women are blessed with... the ability to conceive.  Much like the woman in Dr. Oz's audience, who stood up with absolute faith and confidence in her own ability "when the time comes," I had always been optimistic about creating a family, never anticipating a complications, even at 39.  (In fact, it wasn't until my doctor started using terms like "high risk" that the thoughts even enterered my body.  But more on that in another post.)

The most frightening moment for me, during the show, was when Dr. Oz introduced "Lady Optimism" to a woman who had experienced great challenges in her attempts to get pregnant, spending an exorbitant amount of money along the way.  I was mortified for "Lady O"!  So much so that I can't even remember if the latter woman had actually even gotten pregnant.  I only can recall turning off the show and carrying the hope that "Lady O" held her optimistic ground.

None of this is to say that every soundbite of information in that episode wasn't true or valid.  My challenge was in the implication that full-term, healthy pregnancy seemed implausible.  The entire show downplayed "possibility" to make room for the "delicate issues" that made pregnancy post 35 (and god-forbid 40), appear foolhardy. 

Even further, had there been pregnant women over 35, in the studio or viewing audience, I can only imagine what kind of anxiety and stress they felt watching the show.  For them, there should have been, at the very least, a balancing effort; a small, Dr. Oz dose of, "If you are over 35, and you are pregnant, congratulations.... and here are a few things you should know."  I wanted him to offer the type of infomation that would have helped me and my random assortment of older-than-40 momfriends, who managed (against the apparent odds) to have uncomplicated pregnancies and delivered beautiful, healthy children; moms who might inspire other women and who would undoubtedly challenge the entire premise for that show.  What about arming the rising population of women who are over 35, and becoming pregnant, with information to ensure the safe arrival of their little miracles?  Tsk, tsk, tsk...  Shame on you, Dr. Oz.

Lastly, this, dear Dr., is exactly why I wrote my forthcoming short film, Curdled.  I wanted to make space for women like me to experience the story of possibility and hope.  I want to join the likes of Barbara Hannah Gufferman who, in her Huffington Post article, "Older Mother, Better Mother," talks about her own experience as an "older mom," illuminating mention-worthy realities about later-in-life pregnancy and motherhood.  (Thank you, Barbara!)  Most of all, I wanted to move in the light, the laughter and the joy that comes with creating life.

Onward and upward, friends...
Shia
(PS-Older moms ROCK!)